Sunday, January 9, 2011

Daboo Ratnani 2011 Calendar!

I have a love-hate relationship with Daboo Ratnani and his calendars. On the one hand, I do enjoy looking at the images and am curious to see what he comes up with every year but on the other, I enjoy looking at them because they are so cheesy and/or questionably photoshopped.

Here is my take on the 2010 calendar.

Let's take a look at what he cooked up for our enjoyment this year!

(All images are courtesy Daboo Ratnani(TM).)

Who? Katrina Kaif
Theme? Life inside a disco ball
Success? Yup. The inside of my head looks like this. Two thumbs up!

Who? Abhay Deol
Theme? 3am in Las Vegas
Success? There is a bit of a male model vibe but it's still a neat image - success!

Who? Aishwarya Rai
Theme? One of Gwen Stefani's Harajuku girls lost her arms
Success? Hot mess. While Aish look divine (can one take a bad photo of Aish?) I do question the armlessness, though. What is that all about?

Who? Ranbir Kapoor
Theme? Houdini lives!
Success? Double hot mess! Who knows what is going on but I can't look away. I want to see him bite through that chain and rescue armless Aishwarya. Actually, can that be a movie?

Who? Kajol
Theme? Jewelry advertisement
Success? Would you like to buy a ring? Kajol looks like she's posing for a catalog of some sort. YAWN.

Who? Shahrukh Khan
Theme? Travel brochure
Success? Stick an uncut loaf of bread in that bicycle basket and you have yourself a travel brochure for a generic European country. Where's the star power? Thumbs down from me.

Who? Priyanka Chopra
Theme? "Oh, hello. I'm just casually laying out thrusting my pelvis at nothing in particular."
Success? Only if this was Playboy magazine and she was topless - Piggy is putting way too much effort into seeming "effortless." Fail.

Who? Hrithik Roshan
Theme? Beefcake
Success? Only if one enjoys beefcake, which to be fair, is quite a few of us.

Who? Bipasha Basu
Theme? Just woken up sexy
Success? 100% yes. *fans self*

Who? Saif Ali Khan
Theme? Late night party turns into early morning debauchery
Success? Yup. This image actually gets me excited for Agent Vinod - love the rakish look on Saif. And that wedding ring is a nice touch.

Who? Asin
Theme? Chick lit book cover
Success? No. I hate these contrived "wacky" photos. It's not wacky, it's stupid. Who paints their nails in the middle of the street? That's really the best you could come up with for beautiful Asin? Chick lit?

Who? Amitabh Bachchan
Theme? Stars! They're just like us.
Success? YES! This one works because it actually feels effortless. I like the idea that Amitabh was surprised waiting to get his hair cut. He's a big star but he mingles with us doing regular person things. SUCCESS!

Who? Vidya Balan
Theme? Topless art
Success? Meh. It's a nice image but nothing thrilling. I've seen better from Vidya.

Who? Arjun Rampal
Theme? Look at my chest
Success? I actually like this one - although maybe it's because I could identify Arjun from his chest alone. He looks fragile... it's a beautiful shot!

Who? Deepika Padukone
Theme? Yaaaaawwwwwn
Success? I'm sorry, was I supposed to be looking at something?

Who? Abhishek Bachchan
Theme? "I'm a busy man and I need a powerful energy drink to make it through the day..."
Success? It reminds me of one of those print advertisements where we see a harried mom rushing around and then she reveals her secret is some brand of coffee creamer or energy bar or something. Pure cheese.

Who? Sonakshi Sinha
Theme? "My mommy entered me in this child beauty competition!"
Success? HOT MESS! Maybe it's just because I've been watching Toddlers & Tiaras all week but Sonakshi looks like one of the contestants all dolled up for a glitz pageant. I LOVE IT!

Who? Akshay Kumar
Success? Another HOT MESS! I love his gleeful expression that says, "Imma kick you in the face real fast."

Who? Kareena Kapoor
Theme? Rock groupie
Success? Yes but only because of Bebo's expression, which says, "I've taken your guitar and if you want it back you will have to take it from between my legs." UNF. Majorly UNF.

Who? Ajay Devgn
Theme? Too drunk to drive
Success? Meh. Only if the image comes accompanied with this story I made up about how he had too many mimosas at brunch and fell asleep in his car before he could drive it out of the hotel parking lot, so now Kajol has to come pick him up once she is done shooting for her jewelry ad.

Who? Mallika Sherawat
Theme? Burlesque
Success? Interesting choice of a plain white background; at first I thought this was a dull image but the more I looked at it, the more I was waiting for that robe to fall off. This one sneaks up on you. Success!

Who? Salman Khan
Theme? "Where did that deer go?"
Success? Oh, YES! I love this one because it captures Salman's utter indifference to both the camera and celebrity itself.

Who? Genelia D'Souza
Theme? Yogurt and/or tampon commercial
Success? Only if you would like to purchase some tampons.

Who? Farhan Akhtar
Theme? Art school senior project self-portrait
Success? If I was Farhan's art school professor, this one would get a B for effort. As a celebrity portrait... he's getting a solid C.


Bombay Talkies said...

I actually dig most of these...and Abhay Deol? Total swoon. They could have put that boy in a cardboard box and it would have been hot. I'm not much of a Salman fan but that's a pretty badass picture of him, and I really love the Akshay pic...the angle is really interesting (and I like that I have a hard time figuring out whether he's holding that pose on his own or whether there's something to prop his leg on that's been photoshopped out--it just sort of looks like something Akki could/would do).

Thanks for posting these!

Lime(tte) said...

Really laughed about your comment on Priyanka - You're absolutely right!

Note from Filmi Girl:

I love Bollywood - and all the ridiculous things that happen in Bollywood - but it doesn't mean that I can't occasionally make fun of various celebrities and films.

If you don't like my sense of humor, please just move on by - Trolls are not appreciated and nasty comments will be deleted.

xoxo Filmi Girl
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