Saturday, December 5, 2009

Speculative List: Worst of 2009

Okay, guys, I hope you liked my Favorite Films of 2009 list!! Before I reveal my biggest disappointments of the year, here is my list of films that I would nominate for "Worst of 2009."

To be clear, I haven't actually seen any of these. I don't get paid to write reviews, so I don't want to waste my time on films that I know I won't enjoy. These are just the films that both flopped AND were torn apart by critics - much to my amusement. These aren't the easy pickings - the no-budget C-list cast quickie productions - but films that aimed too high and crashed and burned.

If you did enjoy any of these - and I think at least one of these has a few fans - I'd be curious to hear why you did like it because, from my searching, these seemed to pull up the most negative reviews!

#5 Fruit & Nut

Fruit and Nut directed by Kunal Vijaykar, is one of those films that succeed in making you giggle intermittently. But how one wishes the film had a strong story in the first place. This one is a senseless comedy and the sad part is, the absurdities here are not too amusing.

Additional crimes: Boman Irani dressed as Hugh Hefner. Enough said.

#4 What's Your Rashee?

The film would have been a little more bearable had it been under three hours but a running time of 3 hours and 30 minutes appears far too much. If you may ask whether to check it out or not well there are only two reasons to watch this astrological blunder made by Ashutosh Gowariker – Priyanka Chopra and Priyanka Chopra.

Additional Crimes: Casting Harman Baweja in a 3 and a half hour romantic comedy; stretching what could have been an amusing 15 minute sketch into a 3 and a half hour romantic comedy; Harman Baweja; assuming that a Filmfare award meant that Priyanka Chopra was capable of handling 12 characters

#3 Aloo Chaat

"Aloo Chaat makes you smile sporadically. At most times it's like watching a TV serial that's not hard to predict. 20 minutes into the film and you know what the culmination would be...Verdict? This aloo chaat is spiceless!

Additional crimes: Awful sexed up gori larkii stereotype played by Linda Arsenio; thinking Aftab Shivdasani can anchor a single-hero film

#2 Victory

"So I would not like to go in details for reviewing this movie as it has nothing to offer in any department and is big let-down for all associated with it."

Additional crimes: HARMAN BAWEJA - also, expecting cricket players to act.

(Note: you should probably read the rest of Bobby Sing's review for this film because it is hilarious.)

#1 Jashnn

On the downside, 'Jashnn' fails to hold interest. The soppy second half of the film becomes predictable and moves rather slowly. It keeps the viewer waiting for unpredictable sub plots and lacks the high excitement level expected from an intense musical.

The climax only shows the inconsistent nature of the film; Adhyayan, who throughout the film is shown to perform with his three band members, suddenly flies solo.

Although Adhyayan has slightly polished as an actor, he can't seem to pull off the simplest of scenes without a hysterical outbreak.

Additional crimes: I'm assuming that everything about this film is hilariously awful - especially Adhyayan's hair and acting abilities. Of all the films I've listed, this is the only one I would consider watching because I have a feeling that Jashnn is like Beverly Hills 90210 except with songs - and I have a feeling that Adhyayan would make a spectacular Dylan.


shell said...

OMG, what were you thinking, Boman Irani? Your "Hugh Hefner" look is so very very wrong.

I haven't seen any of these, but I may have given Victory and Aloo Chat both a chance. Probably not now.

I'm interested to see which movies you thought were disappointments. So far, I've been disappointed with what I've seen, post strike anyway.

Sujal said...

I might give Fruit & Nut a shot. Boman Irani, Cyrus, Mahesh Manjrekar... love it. Plus Diya Mirza, and honestly, if it's any good it all, it might get the bad taste of her (& almost everyone else) in Acid Factory out of my mouth.

I might also see WYR at some point. If I have 3.5 hours to burn at any point in the next while. And at least Jashnn had a good soundtrack.

Aya said...

Kambhakkt Ishq was the biggest disappointment for me. The only thing I liked was Akshay! The comedy was pathetic. The story line was stupid and barely there. I can't believe that movie was a big hit. wow

moviemeh said...

I plan on giving Aloo Chaat a shot, since I'm familiar with the dish, and should get some transference of good vibes there.

eliza bennet said...

How stupid am I to still want to watch What's Your Rashee?

None of the others on the list interest me.

I was very dissapointed with

Kambakkt Ishq (I guess I was expecting another Tashan but it was not to be)

Dil Bole Hadippa (the only good thing in it was Rani)

TadyLovesDaniel said...

I LOVED What's your rashee??? And yes it was too long...but the music was very good...and I liked Harman in this film...and Priyanka was pretty good at pulling off 12 characters...

martoufmarty said...

Awful sexed up gori larkii stereotype played by Linda Arsenio

Ugh, she could not act at all in Kabul Express! I cringe every time she was 'acting'.

Note from Filmi Girl:

I love Bollywood - and all the ridiculous things that happen in Bollywood - but it doesn't mean that I can't occasionally make fun of various celebrities and films.

If you don't like my sense of humor, please just move on by - Trolls are not appreciated and nasty comments will be deleted.

xoxo Filmi Girl
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