Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Wednesday: How NOT to climb an elephant

Possibly my favorite story of the day: 3 students embark on harebrained scheme to earn money… by catching Dawood Ibraham. They were apparently inspired by D-Day. Boys, try selling the rights to your story to one of these biopic making studios!! That'll earn you something. Although, could anybody other than Raj & DK turn this farce into a enjoyable film?


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Tampa hospitality industry undergoes a crash course in Indian culture:

"You know, we get up here 7:30 a.m. to do meetings and that's very different from what maybe someone in Mumbai is accustomed to."

Indian. Standard. Time.

It's a real thing.

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Poor Parineeti has let the body snarking really get to her.

The Ishaqzaade babe said, “All the compliments I get for by body are negative – as in ‘you’re a little fat, you’re overweight’.”

Parineeti! Don't listen to dummies calling you fat, especially if those dummies are a) powerful industry men with paunches b) industry men who are interested in other men and have no clue about women and/or c) lady model-actresses who have less talent, charm, and body fat than you and use the third one to mess with your head because it's the first two that count.

You have a large pool of fans who like your non-stick figure looks and that's a real compliment.

(The 'article' is a recap of a promotional interview with her and Sid and it seems like they have a good dynamic, with Sid as the 'straight' man, so to speak.)

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Dhanush starts filming with Balki.

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Shekhar Suman is pulling out all the stops to make Adhyayan's nth re-launch a success, including passive-aggressive media coverage. So, the 'heartwarming' angle of Heartless, where Shekhar Suman was making his younger son play the role of his dead (and apparently better loved) elder son was more ew-inspiring than awe-inspiring. NOW we've got Shekhar putting ALL OF HIS LIFE SAVINGS into his useless, still-alive younger son.

A 'friend of the family' aka Shekhar's secretary with his hand over the phone receiver says:

We’ve even heard that Shekhar has mortgaged his residence for his son’s film.

Trying to guilt us into seeing this one, are you?

And then my favorite part is when Shekhar is asked why he spent so much on the remake rights to a film nobody cares about and he gets on his high horse about how unlike some other people, HE was doing things the RIGHT way.

“Kahaani and Jai Ho got away with quite a lot of inspired content. But I was very sure I wanted to do this the right way."

I like the dig at Kahaani. Is this a ploy to get the PFC types on board? "WELL AT LEAST YOU CAN'T ACCUSE ME OF COPYING"? Something like that?

Adhyayan himself gives a horrifically tone deaf interview to Hungama:

After all, at just an age of 22, I had got such good reviews. This is the reason why not just me but many people around me also never understood why I didn't get the kind of films that I deserved. I didn't know what had happened. I got frustrated that after being critically acclaimed, I had to be sitting at home. These three years have been very tough.

AKA: "My aunties and cousins told me I was AMAZING but then reality kept implying that I wasn't and it made my head hurt!"

Man, oh, man! This film is already a shit show and it hasn't even released yet!

Between Adhyayan and Harman, I swear! Why can't these fathers realize that audiences have rejected their sons as solo heroes? I'm sure Adhyayan could have had a fine career macking on dancers and playing sleazoids a la Himmatwala but, no, he had to reach too high…

Well, Heartless is turning out to be one hell of a swan song.

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Ranveer Singh to do a cameo as Dippy's husband in Finding Fanny Fernandes. News at 11.

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Singham 2 to start shooting in March…

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A big happy birthday to Bollywood's favorite Bluffmaster!

#NeverForget

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Watching the songs from the remake of Band Baaja Baaraat is surreal.

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How NOT to climb an elephant from SS Rajamouli! (CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE, BTW!)

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