Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Wednesday Post: Needs more Randeep Hooda as a badass police detective (or something.)

Let's get this out of the way:

Is there too much Ranbir Kapoor acting all coked up in this trailer for Besharam or is it me? I'm going to hope that the trailer has just been badly cut because I do want to like this film. I REALLY DO WANT TO!

ALSO, what is up with the peeing thing? So, it's crass for Salman to do it in Ready but when Ranbir does it, it's "edgy"?


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Popular culture is neither worthless nor meaningless. At least, it doesn't have to be.


Shahrukh Khan’s tribute--if that’s what we’re calling it--to Rajinikanth in “The Lungi Song” really rubbed me the wrong way for reasons I laid out in this morning’s blog post and I was pleasantly surprised to find that I wasn’t the only one turned off by the joyless nature of the song. In the ensuing discussion, however, the issue of pandering came up. We can all agree that Shahrukh is pandering to an audience in Chennai Express and I think it’s worthwhile to examine the issues this kind of pandering raises. Is pandering necessary to make money? Is there a difference between pandering and giving an audience what they want? What audience is Shahrukh pandering to?

(I’m not picking on Shahrukh specifically but he happens to have provided an easy example with Chennai Express.)


Tuesday Post: Style Style Daan~!

What up, Michigan!! Raj and DK are filming in Ann Arbor!

----

Whaaaaaaaaaat? Harman Baweja and Bipasha Basu are dating? Get it, girl! And by "it," I mean "entrance into a filmy family."


Monday, July 29, 2013

Monday Post! In which we rename "Kick" to "Crash."

Good morning! I hope everybody had a relaxing weekend! It certainly wasn't that way in Glasgow, Scotland where a stunt car crashed into the city chambers on the sets of Salman's Kick. And then they sent Randeep Hooda out for a meet-and-greet with fans.

And a fond farewell to Jagdish Raj, who played a police inspector in films like Deewar and Don. He passed away this weekend. My thoughts are with his family.


Friday, July 26, 2013

Friday Post... we're all waiting... will Issaq deliver the killing blow to Prateik's career?!

WHOA! Rajkumar Santoshi filed a police complaint against Firoz Nadiawala for THREATENING TO KILL HIM! I only saw this in a few outlets so either it's being kept quiet or it's being made up?

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Just because. Let's flail over Vidyut Jammwal.

Look, people. Can we all just agree that VIDYUT JAMMWAL is king of our hearts and if only some producer would take a chance on him in film made FOR HIM and not for the dipshit heroine that said producer is schtupping, he could kick some SERIOUS box office booty?

Seriously.

Now, let's all admire the photos Vidyut posted to his official Facebook and pretend that he's starring in some sort of martial arts-steampunk film in which he takes his shirt off a lot.





Thursday Post: Where is "exotic" located?

This weekend... my theater is keeping Maryan and getting Bajatey Raho! Good bye D-Day and Girish's First Launch: Yes, First Because Let's Not Kid Ourselves, We'll Be Seeing Him Again.

I'll try to make it out for Bajatey Raho, since it looks quite fun!


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Wednesday Post: The literary edition.

Are you in Montreal? Want to see Vidyut Jamwal kicking ass and taking names ON THE BIG SCREEN?! You'll have to suffer through one of the WORST heroines I've ever seen - a Miss Pooja "See Where You Can Get By Schtupping the Producer" Chopra - but it's worth it for Vidyut. July 27th, Fantasia Festival. Be there or be square!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Tuesday Post: How much longer can we spin out the hug?! HOW MUCH LONGER?

The biggest question of the day is: HOW MUCH LONGER CAN THE MEDIA SPIN THIS HUG STORY? Seriously.

Shahrukh is keeping Chennai Express promotions under control.

"Also, with the likes of Shah Rukh Khan, Rohit Shetty and Deepika Padukone out there, you don't need to scream from the rooftops about your product. The film is coming on Eid and with the kind of credentials involved in the film; audience is bound to step forward on his own. Yes, there is connect that is required with the youth and for that an elaborate digital campaign is on," the source said.

Is there an elaborate digital campaign? Are they talking about the youtube videos? Do "elaborate digital campaigns" even work?


Monday, July 22, 2013

Monday Post! Let's just wait for Get Filmy to begin... HUG-FEST 2013!

Serious news first: Manoj Kumar has been hospitalized. My thoughts are with his family. I hope he recovers his health. Get well soon, sir!


Sunday, July 21, 2013

Maryan: No matter how you spell it, it's an awesome movie.

Before I begin this review, I would like to say to all the distributors out there - this crowd is NOT the right one for the Chennai Express trailer. You could have heard a lungi drop, the audience was that unimpressed.

I went into Maryan with the vague memory of some promo of Dhanush swimming around in the ocean and emerged three hours later with tears still in my eyes. Maryan was not the film I was expecting; it was better. The nature of the film means that I'll be discussing a few general plot points but nothing that should spoil it if you are familiar with the premise.

For those who want to know if they should go see the film, I’ll give it to you straight: Maryan is not fun and lighthearted. The plot is very thin and a lot of time is spent developing characters and relationships and establishing backstory. The second half is brutal and there is violence - real violence, not the masala stuff - and if you’re very sensitive about violence, especially against women, consider this your trigger warning that Maryan is not the film for you.

So keep all of this in mind when I say that Maryan is quite a beautiful film. And when I say “beautiful,” I mean human.

Maryan is the story of Maryan Joseph (Dhanush), a fisherman who lives in a tiny seaside village. His father was killed at sea a few years ago but that hasn’t stopped Maryan from fishing. Maryan doesn’t just love the ocean, it’s truly a part of him. He rides out to deep waters - with his buddies Kuttyundi (Imman Annachi) and Sakkarai (Appukutty) - and dives for fish with his spear.

The one snag in Maryan’s otherwise well-tended fishing net is Panimalar (the lovely Parvathi). Pani is deeply in love with Maryan but Maryan isn’t interested in romance, just fishing. It doesn’t help that Pani’s father is the one who was out on the ocean with Maryan’s father when he died. Meanwhile, Vinayakan (very handsome in real life, by the way) plays village thug and moneylender Theekkurissi, who is in love with Pani. And, worse, holds some of Pani’s drunken father’s debts.

All of this village drama takes up the first half of the film and in the second, our fisherman, our king of the sea, ends up in a figurative and literal desert doing contract work.

Sudan.

I didn’t realize when I began watching the film but it’s based on a true story.

June 6, 2008 (KHARTOUM) — An Indian oil worker escaped from his Sudanese kidnappers and was rescued after three days walking through open scrubland, his employer said on Thursday.

Sudanese rescue teams are using helicopters to search for another Indian man who escaped at the same time. Two more Indians and their Sudanese driver are thought to be still in captivity, said Mohamed Arif Khan, head of Petro Energy Contracting Services.

"We are all very worried, particularly for the second man who escaped," Khan told Reuters. The four Indians and their driver were seized in mid-May between the Neem and Heglig oil fields in South Kordofan, a region that borders Darfur, diplomatic sources said at the time.

Khan said the escaped worker had told him the captors appeared to be disaffected locals.

"They are involved in a local dispute...They are not a political group. They are not an organised group."

Maryan is kidnapped not by band of Sudanese rowdies but by a band of child soldiers - in fact, some of the very same child soldiers from the 2008 film Johnny Mad Dog. They have grown up in the intervening five years and become even more hard.* And Maryan does escape and his journey through the scrublands of Sudan is difficult to watch in the same way all the great survival stories are. Director Bharat Bala doesn’t hold back, either, giving us full-on hallucinations, daydreams, bloodied feet, a man so exhausted he can move forward only by crawling. There’s a moment when he hears a seagull. Is it another fever dream or has he really reached the ocean? The camera pans around...

Ocean and desert.

Is Maryan the same in the ocean as he is in the desert? It’s night. Beaten and bruised and starved, Maryan is watching his Sudanese captors dance around a roaring fire. One of Maryan’s Indian comrades unwittingly gets their attention and the music stops. They want to attack the Indian but Maryan steps in and begs them to stop. But he can only speak in Tamil and they don’t understand him when he says that he is a poor man, too, just like them. And then their leader (Christophe Minie, I think) points a gun at his head and tells him to dance.

Maryan begins to sing. It’s a callback to the opening hero introduction song, pining for the community and the life he left behind - the people who have helped him become who he is and who give him strength.

What has the desert offered the child soldiers?

For his first major film, director Bharat Bala pulls no punches and I was left, once again, feeling that Tamil Nadu is making the best films right now. Not just in India, in the world. Maryan leaves his village to become a laborer in a foreign country. He goes from being his own person to being owned by the company and it takes being beaten to a bloody pulp and working his body to the breaking point before he finds himself again.

Dhanush is a magnificent actor and he uses his body well, diving into the water as naturally as a fish or walking with just enough of a limp to remind us that Maryan had injured his foot. You cannot take your eyes from him when he’s on the screen and, seriously, shame on all those Hindi film critics calling him ugly. It’s a sad day for actors when they all have to look like male models to be considered attractive. As Maryan, Dhanush is beautiful like the ocean is beautiful. And dangerous, too.

I really enjoyed Parvathy as Pani. She’s appeared in a couple of Kannada films opposite Puneet Rajkumar but I hadn’t seen her before. Appukutty and Vinayakan, especially, were also wonderful. Appukutty had a real warmth about him that made you really feel that he and the prickly Maryan were genuine friends. Vinayakan, on the other hand, oozed macho sexuality and the things he does to a pair of sandals... one hundred Poonam Pandey’s could strip and it wouldn’t feel as illicit.

The Sudanese kidnappers were intense. Unfortunately I couldn't really find any names or images to go with the names so I'm not sure who was who. But the leader. He was angry and he was going to take it out on whoever he could reach, even if the Indian workers at the oil plant had more in common with them than not. The real enemies out of sight and hidden in high rise buildings and glass enclosed offices.

And music! While the score isn’t A.R. Rahman’s best, overall it’s quite good - and certainly suits the film approximately one million times better than the abomination backing Lootera. There were a few really nice touches here and there, too. Vinayakan had a discordant theme and, as previously mentioned, the call back to the hero introduction number left me tear stained.

Further thoughts will have to wait for a good night’s sleep and the perusal of other reviews to see what the consensus is but I, for one, am glad I decided to go see it.

* One can’t help but wonder if the actors were channeling their frustrations or dashed expectations left in the wake of Johnny Mad Dog. It’s all fine and dandy for some Westerner to waltz into a country like Libera and use the locals to shoot a film that will get shown at Sundance but what happens to the locals after the crew packs up and leaves? Watching Christophe and Dagbeth, one also can’t help but be reminded of the young Slumdog Millionaire actors and the troubles they have faced.

I want to give real kudos to director Bharat Bala for casting them specifically. It adds a third layer to the undercurrent of exploitation in the second half of the film.

Maybe I should talk about this in a separate post but I did skim a few reviews after writing mine and it looks like people are under the misimpression that the Sudanese teens were "terrorists." I admit to being concerned that we would see merely the "savage" African but Bharat Bala does make a point of including establishing shots of Maryan interacting normally with Sudanese people in his workplace and, again, with Sudanese nurses and fisherman. Any bias and lazy "terrorist" labels are purely on the part of the reviewer.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Saturday Post: Like Charlie Chapin on steroids.

Judging by reviews, there has been a mixed response to Ramaiya Vastavaiya, with the mix depending on a) how much money TIPS gave to the outlet and b) how snooty the reviewer is, leading to an odd mix of reviews that either praise Girish and backhandedly say the film is "for the masses" or say the film is entertaining enough but Girish acts like Charlie Chaplin on steroids or could use some acting lessons.

I'm assuming that those outlets who praised Girish were getting paid or else they have an insulting low bar for acting ability in "mass" films. To quote a tweet yesterday from my buddy Danny, whose review has not been posted yet (?): Now for the difficult balance of panning an actor who seems like a really good kid but who really sucks at acting.


Friday, July 19, 2013

Friday Post: No, I'm TOTALLY an actress-model NOT a model-actress.

Here's a look at Ship of Thesus's distribution model and on distributing indie cinema in general. Really indie cinema, not the Mirax-ish stuff.

“I thought Theseus would try a different distribution strategy, like (American filmmaker) Shane Carruth self-distributed his Upstream Colour,” [director Karan] Gour said. “What Anand is doing is good, but I don’t know how it will help indie cinema. People on Twitter will make you feel your film is the best to have ever come out, but it kills it in the long run. Some people liked Kshay because they were expecting nothing from a five-lakh movie.”

Here's the trailer for Kshay:

The trailer is up with English subtitles on their Facebook page and it looks like the film can be legally streamed? I'm not sure. Has anybody seen this?


Thursday, July 18, 2013

Thursday Post: Dancing Around Trees...

Amitabh talks about music in film on his blog. (Thanks to FirstPost for the tip.)

Expressing in terms of music is not a poison which many make it out to be. Music and art and dance forms have survived so long in any condition, will prove to all that the strength has been so potent that it is not something that can be wishes away that soon … ! In fact it never will!

Please allow me to stand and begin the well-deserved slow clap. YOU TELL 'EM, BIG B!!!!!


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Wednesday Post: Early morning... is when I got up today!

I just picked up a book called, Is that a fish in your ear? about translation, something that those of us who don't speak Hindi (or Tamil or Telugu or...) need to think about when we're watching Indian films. How much are the subtitles actually conveying? With this in mind, I was pleased to see that BollyMeaning has been thinking about the same things:

When I translate a song, the thing I worry the most about is not the 'beauty' of the song, but the meaning of words and sentences, and at the same time the essence of the song. I know many times the translations look funny, but that is natural when you try to put the idioms, phrases and poetry of one language in another where not just the language but the culture is entirely different.

And a bit of an editorial comment:

What people don't seem to notice today, on the other hand, is the hopeless lyrics that are put into songs these days, something that used to happen earlier as well, but with less frequency, I believe. However, when the same song is translated, the hopeless lyrics make hopeless translations and while people were busy listening to the music of the actual song, it gets noticed in the translation.

Food for thought. If you aren't aware of Bolly Meaning, I highly recommend you go check it out!


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Tuesday Post: Dream Girl!

A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Katrina Kaif who is either 29 or 30 or no year given depending on which news outlet you read... the best headline has to be from Boom to Dhoom.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT! Good luck with whatever you want to do - whether it's become a Kapoor and retire a la Neetu or run your own film empire. Just ditch whoever it is that's telling you that you need botox. They're wrong.


Monday, July 15, 2013

Monday Post: In which Bollywood can't figure out why their plan of casting every beauty queen isn't turning up more actual actresses.

Are you ready to begin the week with your blood boiling? Then check out this article featuring producers and directors bitching how there is just such a shortage of actresses in Bollywood.

Most filmmakers feel there is a shortage of girls in the industry. Recently when filmmakers like Imtiaz Ali, Vikramaditya Motwane, Rohan Sippy and Vipul Shah among others had got together at the Mid-day office to discuss things they wished were a part of the industry, Motwane had quipped, "There's a real shortage of girls in the industry today." To which Imtiaz had added, "Every time, one of us starts making a movie, we begin to look for girls who can act and you inevitably see that there's really nobody."

Do you know what the solution to this is, boys? STOP CASTING FUCKING BEAUTY PAGEANT WINNERS AND MODELS IN EVERYTHING! The reason you're having so much trouble is that YOU KEEP CASTING MODELS!

Hold some auditions where you judge women by their acting talents and not by what they'll do to your dick. Problem solved.


Sunday, July 14, 2013

Sunday Post: Mera Pyar Meri Amy is the new Wino Forever?

I keep thinking about Lootera and how it could be that the music was allowed to suck so much life out of the film. Imagine my surprise when not one other review even mentioned it, even the ones that bitched about how boring it was, except for Sanjukta Sharma over at Livemint, who says, "The background music, although brilliantly used, becomes punctuative in the second half. Almost every scene has background music." Punctuative is putting it mildly. VERY mildly. Although perhaps the fact that the Hollywood-style synthesized-orchestra "punctuative" music was the only thing my nemesis liked about the film is enough of a condemnation.

Do other people just not notice the score? Am I weird for placing so much emphasis on music? But music is what drew me to Indian films in the first place and, in the past at least, its emotional power was respected. Now only Sanjay Leela Bhansali seems to remember how a song can elevate and transcend. Song sequences have become jokes or items or excuses to make music videos for MTV. Of the films I've seen this year, the use of music in Raanjhanaa and Chashme Baddoor stand out. Aanand L Rai showed a deft hand with music in Tanu Weds Manu, too, so that's not a fluke and David Dhawan is from the old school. He knows how things are done. But nothing was as superb as Bala's Paradesi. Now he understands the power of music. That one sequence with the missionaries...

Incredible.

This reminds me, actually, that I still need to see Avan Ivan. For the longest time, it didn't have English subtitles but now it looks like the DVD has come out with them! Time for an order to Bhavani DVD?

*add to cart*


Saturday, July 13, 2013

Lootera: Motwane and Kashyap make a Lifetime Movie [Spoiler FREE review!]


Because I’m hungry, I’ll use a food metaphor to explain my reaction to Lootera. Imagine that you’re sitting down to a meal at a restaurant. The chef has taken every care with the ingredients - organic vegetables from the restaurant’s garden, heritage grains grown in some pristine field, cheese and meats from animals who are cared for with love and respect. Everything is cooked with finesse and skill and plated with the eye of artiste. The waitress sets down the plate in front of you. The smell is heavenly! It looks delicious!

And then, the waitress pulls out a bottle of ketchup from her apron and proceeds to squirt the ultra-sweet goo all over your food.

Bon appetit!

You can still catch some hints of the subtle flavors of the meal but your overriding sensation will be the disgustingly sweet, blandifying taste of the ketchup.

Amit Trivedi’s score is like ketchup.

And Pran.

I really don't care that much about "Beauties." What I really like are Talkers. To me, good talkers are beautiful because good talk is what I love. The word itself shows why I like Talkers better than Beauties, why I tape more than I film. It's not "talkies." Talkers are doing something. Beauties are being something. Which isn't necessarily bad, it's just that I don't know what it is they're being. It's more fun to be with people who are doing things. - The Philosophy of Andy Warhol.

I recognize that it's a bit trite to be digging out Andy Warhol quotes but, you know, I really don't care that much about "Beauties." Heroes, heroines come and go with the breeze... I do like Talkers in real life but on screen my favorite people are Characters, as in Character Actors - the filmiest of the filmy. Though I always felt Pran was handsome enough to have been a hero, he fell into a career playing smoldering, seedy, dangerously sexy villains opposite the chocolate box heroes of the day. With his heavy lidded eyes, he was the masculine mirror image of the vamps he was often paired with and I love him for it. Pran in riding boots cracking a whip; Pran raising an eyebrow in amusement while debonairly smoking a cigarette. As a villain he was bad but not unforgivably so. Often times in those 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s films, you'll find his character forgiven and folded back into the family at the end of the film. Because we liked him, we could believe his crime wasn't evilness, just a lack of self-control, our id run wild - a bully unchecked in Ram aur Shayam, a horndog in Brahmachari, a drunk in Gumnaam.

The 1970s saw his villain roles morph into grey roles. He played comedy uncles and sympathetic rogues. They weren't upstanding citizens but neither were they bad people.

Who can forget his memorable tribute to friendship in Zanjeer?

Or his clowning with Dadamoni in Victoria No. 203, two lecherous old codgers stealing the film from right under the nose of the wishy-washy chocolate box hero.

The last role I really remember Pran in was in 1942: A Love Story, giving counsel to Anil Kapoor. Heroic, and tragic, if I remember correctly. A full lifetime away from the whip-swinging villains he played in his youth but a tribute to how beloved he was.

I still love a villain and grey character and the men and women who play them - Sonu Sood, Rahul Dev, Prakash Raaj - but there was only one Pran. And I loved him.

There are lovely tributes up here and here and from Amitabh Bachchan over here. ----

Friday, July 12, 2013

Friday Post: I wish Manish Malhotra styled me for work...

The big release this weekend is one I have absolutely no interest in, biopic Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. Farhan Akhtar being self-important, montages of running around, and very likely gratuitous use of white women in bikinis? No, thank you. But, what does interest me is that the film is being sent around on the Miramax circuit here in the US.

This means... film review in my local paper.

The film’s copious montages of training runs also tack on needless minutes to the film’s run time. While some offer the chance to insert music into the movie’s catchy soundtrack, there are only so many times the audience needs to see Milkha running in circles.

Very interesting to see how well one of these Miramax-style films plays outside the Bollywood media bubble... although the Hindie crowd doesn't seem any more positive about it. Too filmy for them.


Thursday, July 11, 2013

Thursday Post: YES! I get another chance to catch Singam 2 and Lootera!

Hrithik Roshan has been discharged from the hospital but Bang Bang has been postponed. My favorite article, though was this one in which Dharam calls from America like a worried mother hen and Karan Johar gifts him a DVD of Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani. For some reason Hrithik watching a film about a young guy who doesn't know what love is and is suffering from a quarterlife crisis just REALLY made me smile. Hrithik is just... from the old school. I can't see him really connecting with one of these new wave wangsty man-child heroes.

Let us know what you think, Duggu!! And I'm glad you're doing better! Get well soon, huh? We're all waiting for your next film because WE LOVE YOU!

And let's all send our thoughts and prayers to Pran, who is not doing well at all. You are much loved by film fans, Pran-sir, and I hope your final days are not painful.


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Oops! Sorry, I overslept!

But you'll forgive me, right? Yah, dudes, my life has been hectic recently....

So, here's something to please (almost) everybody.... one of my favorite songs featuring Akshay, Vidya, AND SRK!

(Seriously, though, I don't think I missed much today except wangst over SRK and people still fluttering over Hrithik - GET WELL SOON, DUGGU!!!!!!)

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Tuesday Post: I'm going back to bed. Wake me up when it's better.

Today... well, The Lone Ranger has thankfully been declared a flop. See where Hollywood's big money let's build a franchise model will get you? And thank God that Johnny Depp's outrageously offensive Native American minstrel show act has not been rewarded. I highly recommend reading the linked post if you are confused about why many found it offensive.

AND THEN, here I am casually just reading the day's news and I find... Bollywoodjournalist.com and a long diatribe against the PR machine, which OF COURSE I approved of.

Till 15 years back, Bollywood stars used have the phone numbers of most film journalists in their phone-books. Almost all film reporters had direct access to the stars. Reputed journalists were known to party, dine with stars and had free access to their homes and film sets.

During that time, it was common knowledge that top Bollywood stars had their own coterie of journalists and they used to play an equal part in helping the star get the kind of publicity he or she aspired for.

As a result, Bollywood as a beat used to be bitchy, full of gossip and candid confessions. Entertainment journalism during those days used to be interesting and fun.

And now it's just a bunch of PR people sending out press releases which are copied and pasted and recirculated. Don't I know it!!!!

But apparently there was a dust up over some accusations made by Bollywood Journalist against Salman Khan... I can't say what is true and what isn't but if you're in the mood for some long-form conspiracy theory blog posts then have at it.


Monday, July 8, 2013

Monday Post: When Aditya Roy Kapur is too good for you...

Good morning, dear friends!! I hope everybody is well. I, unfortunately, came down with a bit of a summer cold (thanks to the combination of air conditioning and heat/humidity, I'm pretty sure - air conditioning will be the death of us) and didn't make it out to the theater this weekend. Tragic, I know... but hopefully at least one of the two new films will still be in the theater next weekend, too.

And I'm doing better than poor Hrithik Roshan, who was in hospital for a blood clot in his brain. Please take care and rest well, Hrithik!


Saturday, July 6, 2013

Saturday Post! I'm back!

Yes, I'm home! I had a lovely time in New York! A big shoutout to Neo Blues Maki and my buddy Soshi, who put on a great show on Wednesday night.

^^ This is them. Feel free to like them on Facebook.

And to Bastard Keith for introducing me to one Mr. Go Go Harder <-link very NSFW.

And to the NYAFF for entertaining me with a double feature of Young and Dangerous 1 and 2.



Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Going to New York... to dance to awful covers of Roy Orbison songs!

Yup, I'm escaping the Star Spangled tourists here in Washington for... slightly less Star Spangled tourists in New York City. If you're around, feel free to drop me a line!


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Tuesday Post: Are there more frightening words than "the former Miss India"?

Let's start today with the biggest joke in Bollywood right now... Vipul Shah and Pooja Chopra, who are preparing for Commando 2.

The film's producer, Vipul Shah, has reportedly given the former Miss India a list of 150 movies to watch and learn from.

"Vipul sir wants me to see all kinds of films and understand acting in depth, because if the choice is left to me, I only land up watching romantic comedies," said Pooja.

"I've already started doing my homework and watched films like Milk and The Help," she added.

Just soak it all in. Sleazy Vipul Shah (taking a break from sucking up to Aditya Roy Kapur) trying to get his side piece to be a better actress by having her watch The Help. Honey, judging by the shit I saw on display in Commando, it's going to take more than a movie night or two with Big Daddy Producer to turn you into an actress. We'll see how long you keep Vipul's attention because that's exactly how long your acting career will last.

If I was Vidyut, I'd be running as far away from this mess as I could. It's such a shame that THIS is the deal our talented Vidyut got. Having to put up with those two just so we can watch him kick bad guy ass.

(And I hope Vidyut is doing okay - he's pulled out of IIFA for "family" reasons.)


Monday, July 1, 2013

Monday Post: Prabhudeva knows what sells tickets... (i.e. HIM.)

You know, I saw the trailer for Issaq before Raanjhanaa and the first thing I thought was: Man, Prateik Babbar is really NOT hero material. That heroine was pretty wishy-washy, too. The rest of the film looked pretty boss, with Ravi Kishan and Makrand Deshpande? YES, PLEASE! The soggy romance starring Squinty "Rejected Already By Audiences A Bunch Of Times" McAir-Muscles and some dippy debutant? No, thank you.

I have a feeling director Manish Tiwary agrees with me.

"To make it novel, you have to start from the basics - how you treat the meaning of love and the treatment of the surrounding cast. We realised that the film needed more antagonists to oppose the love, which the lovers have," he said.

There should be an All Antagonist Film at some point - like a reverse Expendables - where Makrand Deshpande, Sonu Sood, Prakash Raaj, Ravi Kishan, Rahul Dev, Pradeep Rawat, Paresh Rawal, Vidyut Jamwal, Jaideep Ahlawat, and Pratima Kazmi all gang up together to pull off some scheme or other. Maybe to break Pran or Prem Chopra or Ranjeet out of jail and get him to his granddaughter's wedding? It could be like a heist-road trip-wedding film... but with a million villains.


Note from Filmi Girl:

I love Bollywood - and all the ridiculous things that happen in Bollywood - but it doesn't mean that I can't occasionally make fun of various celebrities and films.

If you don't like my sense of humor, please just move on by - Trolls are not appreciated and nasty comments will be deleted.

xoxo Filmi Girl